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My Professor Still Hasn’t Learned How to Use the Projector, Please Don't Give Him a Gun


Photo by AlessandroSquassoni / CC0

The clock reads 10:33 a.m. My linear algebra professor stumbles in, wearing an oversized sweater and holding a Trader Joe’s tote bag full of decaying books. He glances at the clock, mumbles something incomprehensible, and shuffles to the podium.

In a thick, Czech accent, he gives a dry introduction to today’s topics and fires up the projector. Only, it doesn’t load. Dr. Prochazka gets down on all fours and fiddles around with the cords, and tries again. Still nothing. This process takes 45 minutes, until he finally gives up. Taking a quick glance at his slides, Dr. Prochazka begins painstakingly copying down the words, line by line, until the he makes recreates each slide from chalk.

It turns out, he’d been pressing the volume button to change sources on the projector. Classic rookie mistake!

It takes three button presses to start up a projector. And after 23 years, Dr. Prochazka still wastes half of class before realizing he’s incapable of setting it up. For the love of God, don’t give him a weapon.