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Brilliant! Student Avoids Talking to People on Locust by Being Pushed to Class in a Stroller


Photo from Pxhere / CC0

While her Wharton friends were creating startups and her Engineering friends were working on complex machinery, Susan Goldberg (C ‘20) focused on developing an even more important idea: the best way to avoid making small talk on Locust. Susan paid a young, married couple to push her from class to class in a pink stroller.

Susan was sick of the fake conversations she had to endure on her way to class, and nothing that she did—using headphones that weren’t plugged in, sunglasses, taking the bus two blocks—prevented her needy friends and acquaintances from seeking her out and making her pretend that she isn’t disgusted by the mere sight of another human face. So Susan took action. She went to several gynecologists nearby to find potential parents, and she convinced them that pushing her around Locust would be the best way for them to prepare for their future newborn.

It’s a mutually beneficial relationship: these parents get to feel like they’re actually preparing for a newborn infant, while Susan doesn’t have to greet anyone she doesn’t want to, because no one can see her under the cover of a stroller! She also gets to be swaddled in Hello Kitty blankets and nap on the way to class, so it’s really a win-win situation.