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'Trust the Process,' Yells Sixers Fan Planning to Tank All Finals


Photo by Keith Allison / CC BY-SA 2.0

Tyler Reynolds (C ’19) has religiously followed Sixers basketball as long as anyone can remember. The team has gradually risen from the depths of despair and looks poised to do damage in the playoffs this year.

Reynolds, however, has taken the 76ers’ path success a bit too seriously. He intends to tank all of his finals in a few weeks. Haters will say it’s because Reynolds is incompetent, but he told us otherwise.

“I will rise from the ashes. In a year’s time, when I do kill my finals, the recruiters will acknowledge that I bounced back. It really shows character,” Reynolds explained.

In an effort to stand in solidarity with Joel Embiid, Reynolds has only attended 31 classes in the past three semesters. More recently, he has been seen frequenting campus in a full face mask.