How to Organize a BYO When You Are a Shell of a Human Being

Social chairs look no further—here’s how to plan a BYO when you haven’t slept since August and your phone autocorrects "dirty" to "darty."

1. Choose your venue 

It’s hard to go wrong here. Red Kings, Banana Leaf, Beijing—be creative! Anything can be a BYO if you put your mind to it—even your CIS recitation! 

2. Make a Facebook event  

Don’t forget this step! No one will come to your event if you don’t come up with a clever title that plays on Penn party culture! Try "BY-OCR," "Goldman Sips," or "I Won’t Let Anyone Forget I Go to the ‘Social Ivy’ Because I’m Still Insecure About When I Was a Nerd In High School."

3. Take a good hard look at your life and reevaluate your priorities 

You’re starting to second guess throwing this BYO in the first place. Why are you even in this club? When was the last time you went to a GBM? When was the last time you called your parents? How long has it been since you did your laundry? Is anyone going to care about your Consumer Psychology minor? Do you care about your Consumer Psychology minor? Should you have just gone to a state school? Is your refrigerator running?????????

4. Buy Franzia 

One bag per person attending. It’s rude to be underprepared. 

5. Skip the BYO you planned to stare at the ceiling above your bed until you drift off to sleep  

Why fight it?