OMG. The Spotify Wrapped 2018 results are in — you spent 94,564 minutes being basic as hell this year!
This year, however, I cannot be fulfilled by a five-bedroom on Baltimore. Having a roof over your head is great, but what I really need right now is the chance to start anew.
I was hanging out with my girlfriend Katie. No, no, not Katie Smith — we broke up last month.
٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ ( ◡‿◡ *)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:
Lenny Kravetz (C ‘22) entered college without a sense of direction.
Thanks especially to the brothers of Gamma Rho Kappa Kappa Upsilon Phi Beta Beta Beta for putting on this shindig—it’s been a blast.
Listen up. I literally do not care who you are or what your name is.
Alex Wang, a junior in Penn’s accelerated dental program, just made a career-ending mistake.
The UN says climate genocide is upon us—who here is tryna fuck?
Did you hear? Lindsay is studying abroad in London next spring. She is so excited, but will miss her friends so much! The FOMO is real, haha.
In the coming months, Parker has made it the club’s goal to bring back Polio, a virus that has been eradicated in the U.S. through vaccination. With his graduation date on the horizon, Parker says it is now or never.
It’s never enough: College sophomore Jared Rivkin was extremely disappointed in the Houston Hall renovations unveiled this fall. “15.5 million dollars and not one swimming pool in sight,” Rivkin said. “I just don’t get it.”
Goodbye Koreana, hello Second Year Experience! After announcing mandatory on-campus living for all sophomores beginning in 2021, Gutmann has made moves to open yet another dorm—New New College House West North.
A study from the Wharton Behavioral Lab released today concluded that the Wharton School is the most popular charitable cause amongst Wharton graduates. Many Wharton grads cited charitable donation as “at odds” with their strong capitalist values, saying it would likely be better for those less fortunate to “figure it out for themselves.” Donating to their alma mater, however, appears to be the happy medium.
While most students dread icebreakers, College sophomore Melanie Rosenthal has a fun fact that is hard to beat. After learning of her acceptance to Penn, Rosenthal decided to take a year off to explore her passion for cooking. One year later, she entered her freshman fall with a degree from the famed cooking school, Le Cordon Bleu.
Social chairs look no further—here’s how to plan a BYO when you haven’t slept since August and your phone autocorrects "dirty" to "darty."
Last week College junior Emma Bentley received news that she would not be invited to join the Penn Ikea Furniture Building Club. “I’ve always been a passionate builder—no—assembler. It was time to take the next step and move beyond my solo work,” said Bentley.
Ah, NSO. The sweet smell of freedom in the air. No parents, no rules, no repercussions for public intoxication. We met up with a particularly eager Wharton freshman, Aaron Abramovitz, who reflected on this new stage of life.
Notable loner and College sophomore Harrison Shawfield was spotted last Monday smoking a cigarette outside Saxbys during a torrential downpour. “Have you ever noticed how fake people are?” Shawfield inquired after beckoning us over through the curtain of rain.