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Plot Twist: Guy Wearing Suit to Class is Not Recruiting, Just an Asshole


Photo from GoodFreePhotos.com / CC0

College junior Charles Richardson is an adamant opponent of Penn's recruiting culture. Regularly complaining about the detrimental effects of pre-professionalism and writing fiery Op-Eds on the matter, Richardson wants no part in the madness known as "On-Campus Recruiting." It is for this reason that many of his friends were shocked to witness Richardson entering class on Monday morning dressed head-to-toe in business formal (with a tie and everything).

With rumors being spread supporting the theory that Richardson is "totally selling out," and that he "probably wants to do two years of consulting before med school," classmates were left utterly bewildered by this development. Fortunately, Richardson's sudden clothing decisions appear to be indicative of something other than a desire to sell his soul to a consulting company.

UTB reports indicate that Richardson, while not actively recruiting for summer 2019 internships, is just an asshole. A self-proclaimed "connoisseur of fine clothing," he enjoys strutting around campus in his luxury Italian suits to show off his parents' wealth and the fact that he knows what the word "bespoke" means. 

"Recruiting is the worst time of the year for Penn, but the best time of the year for me to strut my new Canali cufflinks without anyone questioning my clothing choices," remarked Richardson.

While Richardson may not be recruiting at the moment, it won't be long before his parents cut him off and he'll be left searching for menial Excel-based jobs like the rest of us. At least when that time comes around, he can rest assured knowing that he can dress to impress.