Student Planning to Take 8 C.U. Rescued By Administration, Now Only Taking 7.5

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Alex Sanson (E ’20) doesn’t know when to stop. This deranged triple major has run amuck on the PennInTouch course selection page, slurping up courses like a tactless warthog at a buffet.

But the madness ends today. With Penn’s announcement of a hard 7.5 c.u. semester course limit, rabid dogs like Sanson will be kept safe from their own ambitions. 

“I came to Penn because I wanted to make the most of my opportunities,” said the odd, sick creature. “And I found that I could handle eight courses. Sure, I may not have had as much time for extracurriculars or a social life, but each and every one of those classes changed the way I think. I couldn’t imagine dropping any of them.”

Due to the administration’s heroic policy changes, desiccated husks like Sanson will be healed.

“It’s not like I feel crippling loneliness because all of my friends are in a cappella groups and I’m not,” he grumbled. "We just have different life priorities. Chill.”

Now taking 7.5 c.u. a semester, Alex may find some semblance of normalcy in his sad, tortured life.

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