Srinivas Mandyam


'I Hate Glass Ceilings' Notes Student Who Spends Free Time Calling Amy Gutmann a Robot

Sammie Tomson (C ‘19) is committed to shattering artificial barriers to success. She’s also deeply dedicated to exposing Dr. Amy Gutmann for the fraud she is.

Prank Stabbing in Fisher Fine Arts Just Leads to Irritated Shushing Noises

Last Friday, visitors to the Fisher Fine Arts Library found themselves at the center of a terrifying confrontation.

'Take Your Professor to Lunch' Victim? Popular Professor's Diet is Now 85% Pod Sushi

Most professors covet a 4.0 rating on Penn Course Review. Dr. Eric Malor wishes he could get rid of his.

'I Feel Like I Peaked in High School' Complains Student Who Peaked in Middle School

Starved of validation for the first time in her life, she’s beginning to wonder how much she really deserves to be at Penn.

OP-ED: I'm Passionate about Math, Unless I get a B on this Midterm

Really, you just need to put yourself out there. Try new things! As long as you can keep your 4.0, the world’s your oyster.

Meal Prep God! Girl Puts 7 Water Bottles in the Fridge

Ashley Banks (C ‘20) really wants to save money this semester.

OP-ED: Choosing Your Child's Major is a Personal Decision—There's No Need to Rush

College is a time full of endless possibilities. It’s very understandable if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the choices your child must navigate. 

Wow! 18-Year-Old's Cutting OP-ED Sure to Keep Penn Admins Up at Night

Irene Sard (C ‘21) doesn’t hold her punches.

Anxious Chemistry Professor Single-Handedly Drains Entire Department Chalk Budget

According to her colleagues, Dr. Caroline Jameston is the right hand of Penn’s chemistry department. Unfortunately, her colleagues would also note that Dr. Jameston’s right hand “will probably bankrupt us in a few years.”

Penn Ranked Fourth Worldwide for Innovation, Producing 20 Million Gallons of It Per Year

After holding our own in the US News Rankings, we managed to make a huge leap in another major college ranking: the Reuters Most Innovative Universities list.

Student Planning to Take 8 C.U. Rescued By Administration, Now Only Taking 7.5

Alex Sanson (E ’20) doesn’t know when to stop. This deranged triple major has run amuck on the PennInTouch course selection page, slurping up courses like a tactless warthog at a buffet. But the madness ends today.

New CIS Course Prepares Students to Be Devoured By Oncoming Robot Overlords

Penn’s CIS department prides itself on anticipating industry trends and preparing its students to lead the technological world of tomorrow. So when department chair Vikram Singh announced the creation of CIS 435, students were eager to see what was in store for their field of study. The course, formally titled “Technological Citizenship: Preparing Yourself to be Eaten by the Robot Uprising,” will be available to students this spring.

Oboe Prodigy Plans to Graduate by Taking 72 Half-Credit Music Lessons

Curt Curtis (C ‘22) had a single dream growing up. Recognized at the age of two for his precocious musical ability, Curt found himself on track to be the greatest oboe player of our generation. But it all fell apart when Curt (who had his name legally changed at the age of seven) received a rejection letter from the Curtis Institute of Music. Bitter and defeated, he settled for Penn.

Soon to be Failing Freshman Bothered that A+'s Count as Much as A's

When Jamie Chen’s (C ‘22) high school friends told her that grades weren’t a substitute for a personality, she took it as a challenge. Set to enter Penn with a perfect transcript, Chen noticed something horrifically disturbing about the University’s grading policy.

Need to Postpone Your Midterm? Here are the 5 Tastiest Doorknobs on Campus

Midterm season is upon us, but there’s a way out—take a close look at that syllabus. “Students may schedule a makeup midterm if they are sick on exam day.” But how are you going to get sick by Monday? With that, here are Under the Button’s top five tastiest doorknobs for the 2018-19 academic year.

Report: 85% of Freshmen Haven't Come to Penn, Still Waiting for School Bus

It’s that time of year again. While most upperclassmen have settled back in their old campus haunts, Penn’s freshman halls lie mysteriously empty.

Report: PennCard Getting Way More Action Than Student

If you don’t count checkout lines, Winston Zheng (E ‘20) hasn’t been within five feet of a woman in months.

Lonely Student Wishes Someone Would Try Making Lunch Plans With Them on Locust

You know, I’ve tried to be sympathetic. I really have.

Study Shows Even the Least Motivated Penn Students Will Run Tomorrow’s World

Earlier this week, Penn researchers announced the conclusion of a seminal, twenty-year, longitudinal study about the outcomes of Penn graduates.