We Got Him: Dean Furda is George Lopez

furdalopez

Graphic by Allison Kim / The Daily Pennsylvanian; Photos by Hollywood Branded / CC BY 2.0, DP File Photo

Alright everyone, let me ask you this: where has George Lopez been? We all loved the George Lopez show — goddamn that theme song was incredible — but it went off the air in 2007. Are we really to believe that George Lopez, triple threat entertainer and perennial Oscar snub, has done nothing since then? Yes, he did that weird talk show thing, but I think it’s better for everyone if we just pretend that didn’t happen. 

Now I introduce to you Eric J. Furda. The hip, “down with the kids” dean has been serving the University of Pennsylvania for years now. I wonder when he first started here? Oh wow, well, would you look at that: Dean Furda was hired in 2008, only one year after George Lopez went dark. 

This may be shocking, but the facts don't lie. Dean Furda is George Lopez — It's been in front of us this whole time. 

Have you ever seen Dean Furda and George Lopez in the same room? The answer is yes; you just haven’t realized it.

Nobody else is covering this, and it seems that I'm the only one with the courage to go further down this rabbit hole. Yes, following this story makes me vulnerable, but if that puts my career on the line, so be it. I'm after the truth. 

I reached out to Dean Furda on Twitter for a comment, but as you can see, he's not ready to play ball. If silence speaks volumes, you better cover your ears. 

Repeated request for comment from Dean Furda was met with silence. George Lopez was not contacted for comment for reasons of redundancy.

Now, I’m not sure of the specifics yet. Is Dean Furda just a character developed by George Lopez? We know he has the talent for it. Or maybe this is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type situation? We can’t know for sure — the science just isn’t in. Me, I believe that George Lopez is here to protect us. From what? I don't know. But I do know that he is among us, and that makes me feel safe.  

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