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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Fuck Jeff From Writing Sem?

Illustration by Seyoung An / The Daily Pennsylvanian

You meet Mindy outside of your building looking about as appealing as Philadelphia’s treasured mascot Gritty. Which is to say, you look irresistible. Mindy’s so impressed with your I-couldn’t-care-less aesthetic that she shoots you lustful glances as you make your way to the Yo Kappa Kappa party. You would be flattered, but you know that you can do much better than Mindy.

Just as you expect, as soon as you enter the chapter house heads turn to catch a glimpse of your Gritty aesthetic, and as you hit the floor all the ladies and gents are doing their best to get close enough to you to grind on that sexy, sexy bod of yours. You let them fight among themselves like the cattle that they are, until pushing through the crowd is the most gorgeous man that you’ve ever seen. It’s Jeff from Writing Sem! Your libido skyrockets such that it rivals even that of Gritty’s. What do you do?

  1. Let Jeff grind on that sexy bod of yours
  2. Leave the party and take your milkshake to get a milkshake at McDonalds