Fossil Free Penn Demands Santa Divest from Coal
Photo by Julio Sosa / The Daily Pennsylvanian
December 16, 2018 at 11:49 am
Fossil Free Penn has a new target in its sights: Santa.
“For too long we've allowed Santa to be the most vocal spokesperson for fossil fuels,” yelled College junior Caroline Erickson at a sit-in protest. “If he is so committed to giving naughty children an energy source, why not give them a windmill?”
In a press release, Fossil Free Penn stated the following demands.
1. Stop new investments in coal mines.
2. Remove all holdings in coal mining companies before the heat death of the universe.
3. Reinvest a portion of extricated funds into a universal healthcare system for the elves.
UTB contacted Santa, but he declined to disclose the exact composition of his coal holdings.