Demand for the class is expected to be very high. Wharton sophomore Charlie Kurtis-Thompson said “I heard rumors Alec Baldwin will make a regular appearance.” 

Are you ready for the most important part of your [INSERT CLASS YEAR HERE] yet?

Under The Button staffers have discovered not a single person in the Penn Bubble knows what FMC stands for. As a result, Provost Wendell Pritchett has decided to officially rename the building, but he needs your help to decide.

Seems like Ole Maxy forgot to come back to the land of the living after pulling an all-nighter working on his valuation of Toys R Us.

People from all political walks of life have decried the $7.50 an hour minimum wage. Finally, some concrete evidence has come to support an increase.

UTB did the math and plugged the amount of subtitles that Chiren read into our proprietary algorithm. We determined it was exactly equivalent to the 350 pages of reading that he was supposed to do instead. 

Are you telling me that not a single person made it to page 52 of my long-form satire from last week? 

It is hypothesized that if everyone were named Steinberg-Dietrich, the class system would collapse, as no one would be able to tell who the real Steiny-D is.

Apparently, the Kendall Jenner spotting at City Tap really made quite the impression on campus, and Kanye was thrilled at the news that Penn had decided to name a whole College House after his unborn son.

Martin Van Buren might have had his birthday back in December, but that's no excuse for me not to skip my 9 a.m. on Monday.

Tensions were running at an all-time high when College sophomore Suzie Reyes chose not to do the readings for her LGST 100 class.

No Super Bowl? No problem. Meet the innovative students who plan to straight up skip classes on Wednesday. 

We recognize that PennInTouch has been a little outdated ever since its inception, so we are turning it over to the experts that really pioneered website design. The green and the pink of the availability chart just complement each other so well, and we want to bring this award-winning design to PennInTouch.

“For too long we've allowed Santa to be the most vocal spokesperson for fossil fuels,” yelled College junior Caroline Erickson at a sit-in protest.

In a press release today, Smirnoff announced it would be making a larger serving size of its popular drink, the Ice. 

Yes Mom, these bruises on my neck are from when I fell down the stairs of my apartment building.

 “This is a unique business model. Currently, there is not a single store trying to do what we are doing.” 

All hell broke loose when the topic of the trade war came up.

Zoo-Pals, the beloved paper plates that double as friends, pair perfectly with the sophisticated, sometimes-good cuisine served up at Commons.

Wharton sophomore Aguistin Latimer always wanted a small campus vibe.