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Ben Simmons MERTed After Every Guy at City Tap House Tells Him to Take More Shots

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Graphic by Elias Rappaport / The Daily Pennsylvanian; Photos by Daniel Salib; Paul Cross / CC BY 2.0; Sustainable Economies Law Center / CC BY 2.0

Credit: Elias Rappaport

76ers star Ben Simmons’s night out at Penn apparently ended with a trip to the hospital after multiple Sixers fans heckled the second-year player. Wednesday night the Sixers point guard was spotted at City Tap House with his girlfriend Kendall Jenner enjoying a nice stout after defeating the San Antonio Spurs 122-120.

Despite multiple security guards protecting Simmons from his fellow patrons at Tap House, they could not prevent a few unwelcome comments from being hurled at the NBA player from across the bar. The first of which came from lifelong Sixers fan Dan Spagnola (C ‘19) who yelled at the pass-first point guard to “take more shots.”

“Well,” Simmons shouted back at Spagnola. “Mama didn’t raise no bitch,” as he threw back two shots of tequila like it was nothing.

Only moments later freshman Teddy Kitchens, who snuck into Tap House just to relay a special message to Simmons, yelled out “take a fucking shot for once Ben.” Simmons was confused as he had just proved to the bar-goers that he could in fact take two shots. He nonetheless obliged and downed three more shots, despite Kendall Jenner’s insistence that the 6’10” Aussie should really slow down.

A few minutes later drunk bar-goer Allison Schmendalson (W ‘20) told Simmons that to be great “you need to be able to get to the line.” Taking the comment as a challenge, Simmons went to the bathroom to find the line, railing a thick bump of coke.

At this point Jenner, worried for her boyfriend’s health, MERTed Simmons to further protect him from more mixed messages being lobbed at him. Still, as they were leaving the bar, a fan allegedly complained to Simmons, saying “all you ever do is whine.”

Offended at this affront to his taste, the point guard shotgunned a PBR, proving that he drinks a variety of alcoholic beverages.

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