Sheck Wes’s “MUDBOY” has guided me through type 4 logs and type 2 craggly poos. Truly Sheck has been there through the best and worst of times.
There was just something about her mix of confidence and humility that I was immediately attracted to. With no options left, I shot my shot.
Adam doth wanted to go to a Snakes fraternity party, but the bro at the front door was all like, ‘thou shalt take a lap and come back with ye woman because the ratio inside’s fucked.
Believing the sign to actually signify that all drugs on campus were free and, perhaps, even provided to students, Caulfield immediately set his sights on the school.
In the spirit of giving, UTB is here to help you d-bags out. It was hard to narrow down the five best windows out of the 1,366,475 windows on campus, but after great deliberation we have compiled a list.
Despite multiple security guards protecting Simmons from his fellow patrons at Tap House, they could not prevent a few unwelcome comments from being hurled at the NBA player from across the bar. The first of which came from lifelong Sixers fan Dan Spagnola (C ‘19) who yelled at the pass-first point guard to “take more shots.”
Sadly, Webster’s only lifeline was his now ex-girlfriend, Miranda Sheath who had "had it up to here with Cole’s drunken bullshit." But left with no other choice, Webster made the call as Howie Mandel hummed the Deal or No Deal theme song to himself, applying ample hand sanitizer all the while.
He hadn’t shown up to his PSYC 170 class since mid-September and with the final in the morning, he knew his ass was grass.
Vilsack opened up a new document in Google Drive and just started writing.
Two years ago, they were stuck in the middle—not bad enough to disband, but not good enough for anyone to show up to their parties.
It’s officially cuffing season and Student Health Services is here to make sure you keep your pecker in checker.
She had spent the last two months researching Spanish-speaking countries in hopes of finding one where residents only spoke in simple, indicative sentences.
No way will my child play football — at least, not with those slow feet.
When infamous slumlord Cam Partments told College junior Greg Giacomo and his roommates that they couldn’t adopt a cat, they were devastated.
Around 10 p.m. last night, Jack went to the bathroom — the one that looks a little fancy from the outside but has the same stank as the bathrooms in Pottruck.
Yo kid, that’s not a mouse under your refrigerator, that’s a goddamn elephant shrew, and you better take good care of it.
Johnny Lawson (C '21) takes a sip of gatorade. It’s the fourth quarter, he’s down eight points and it all comes down to this.
Our first date was going so well, so I thought why not take it to the next level and go to a food truck.
As this frigid October continues to prove that global warming is a left-wing hoax, students have been donning their winter coats especially early this year.
After nine months of getting his hopes up, Jeremy Bird (C ‘20) didn’t want to get fooled again.