Depressed Engineers Insist That Easy Majors Are for ‘Idiots’

Antonia Armstrong (E ‘21), a computer science major, spent 60 of the last 72 hours cramming for her coding project due on Monday.

May Farmer (E ‘20), an electric engineering major, visits CAPS daily to cope with the immense stress of her workload.

Shaun Bryant (E ‘21), a Bioengineering major, drinks himself to sleep each night to forget about upcoming deadlines. 

These three students all deal with the inherent pressure of studying engineering differently, but they all agree on one thing: everyone with an easy major is dumb.

Armstrong claimed, “I’m pretty sure the entire Classics Department is athletes."

Farmer theorized that “every communications major has a parent on the board of trustees. That means they must be stupid, unlike me.”

Bryant believes that “all urban studies majors got accepted due to clerical errors.”

Insider sources say that students with “easy” majors are generally happier. A College sophomore who wishes to remain unnamed responded, “I get to go outside, I get enough sleep, I get good grades, I talk to friends about things other than class, and I am passionate about what I study.”

Armstrong, Farmer, and Bryant all agreed: “every day we wake up wanting to drop out, but at least we aren’t sociology majors.”