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Meet the Kid Who Flunked Out of School While Waiting for His ExtraCare Card Receipt at CVS


Photo by Jason Newport / CC BY 2.0

Daniel Kauffman (W ‘20) was a straight-A student until his fateful trip to CVS for some late night study snacks.

Kauffman intended to be in and out of the store in under 10 minutes — all he wanted were a few candy bars and some tide pods to serve as dinner while he studied for his marketing exam the next day — but the self-checkout machine had other plans.

The machine reminded Kauffman to take his ExtraCare card receipt. Remembering his father once scolded him for neglecting to bring home the receipt after using the family’s ExtraCare card number, Kauffman stood there and waited as the machine printed out a rainforest of paper for him to take.

He glanced occasionally at the receipt, scanning for deals, but had no luck. “Diapers 5% off," “Buy One, Get One Free #1 Fan Foam Finger," and “Garden Gnome 50% off” were the best deals he could spot as the receipt piled up on the floor.

As the sun began to rise, Kauffman stood pat, desperate for a deal that held any value to him, but he had no such luck. By 11:00 a.m., the receipt stopped flowing, leaving a pile of paper waste that would make Al Gore faint.

Kauffman arrived at his marketing exam with just 20 minutes to go — ultimately dooming him to fail the class — but he had made his parents proud.

“I’m just happy he saved the receipt," his father said. "There are some good deals on there! Did you see the foam finger buy-one-get-one? This is why you always put in the ExtraCare card number.”