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Impressive: This Junior Is Somehow Only in One Club

Credit: Arman Murphy

College junior Beth Fine is just like any other Penn student, except for one glaring difference: she’s involved not in five, not in three, but in one single club. 

“How am I only involved in one club? What? It’s so easy,” she told our reporters. “I just decided I was only going to get involved with things that I’m sincerely passionate about, so that I have more time for my studies and for self-care.”

Surprisingly, Beth not only has a social life without 4 clubs scheduling her entire weekend, but she also has more time for the almost extinct practices of "exploring the city" and "exercising."

Her roommate Maxine Alp, who’s involved in 7 different SAC-recognized clubs, worries that Beth is missing out on valuable real-world experience.

“I’ve learned so much from being involved in lots of different clubs, and I’ve found that GBMs are always extremely productive, with no time wasted whatsoever. I don’t know how Beth does it. I would be so stressed out about not being involved in so many clubs if I were her. Almost as stressed as I am about my exec board group chat not responding to me. Wait…” 

So what’s the one club that Beth is in? “Oh, the Penn Diarrhea Club of course. Long live Taco Bell.”