We could study, but only a little. We’d almost certainly be consumed by our passions.
I should’ve gone to Cornell, learned about hotels, and gotten a sweet job at the Four Seasons or some shit.
Look: I’m a bad bitch. An extremely bad bitch. When I walk down the street I turn heads. People I walk past whisper to each other, “That is the baddest bitch I have ever seen,” just before they collapse onto the street, overwhelmed by my power.
I was shocked. Back in my day, you had to be tapped by God himself. There were no women, and there was definitely no alcohol. I always thought those rules were dated, even back in the 13th century, to be perfectly honest.
Up flies Kyle’s hand. Uh-oh. He’s exactly who his name suggests he is.
I know you were really stressed out about that calculus class when we last spoke a few months ago. I hope it’s going better! You are so smart.
Ever since me and my 500 roommates moved in, everyone has been so welcoming.
Sources close to the Penn student body report that every single Penn student is now convinced that they only got rejected from Stanford because their spot was taken by someone whose parents bribed the school. Under the Button caught up with Engineering junior Jasper Ortega (E’ 20) for his take.
Math professor Nakia Rimmer’s lecture recordings were a smash success at the 91st Academy Awards last night in Los Angeles. The recordings were nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Actor. They won them all.
Surprisingly, Beth not only has a social life without 4 clubs scheduling her entire weekend, but she also has more time for the almost extinct practices of "exploring the city" and "exercising."
I know what you’re thinking: it’s going to be hard to keep the game balanced when adding such an immensely powerful character.
I might grab an apple, perhaps a kiwi or even a pear if I’m feeling adventurous. I could even grab a banana, like you seem to have maybe done.
Sure, there would be some drawbacks to renovating DRL. Penn could no longer use it as a haunted house. That one family would have to move out. Any money spent on renovating DRL is money the university can’t use to build the next New College House.
I worked so hard in high school to prepare myself for the workforce, and now I can't even get a damn interview anywhere.
There has not been a single night since syllabus week when I haven’t had to stay up to finish a problem set.
A new study from the University of Pennsylvania conclusively proves that I literally cannot stop tears from flowing down my cheeks.
"All of us at Owls are rooting for 21, and we hope this whole ICE rubbish gets sorted out soon."