Arman Murphy


OP-ED: Add the Quaker to Smash Bros, You Cowards

I know what you’re thinking: it’s going to be hard to keep the game balanced when adding such an immensely powerful character.

OP-ED: Are You Sneaking a Banana out of Commons or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

I might grab an apple, perhaps a kiwi or even a pear if I’m feeling adventurous. I could even grab a banana, like you seem to have maybe done.

OP-ED: Penn Should Use El Chapo’s Drug Money to Renovate DRL

Sure, there would be some drawbacks to renovating DRL. Penn could no longer use it as a haunted house. That one family would have to move out. Any money spent on renovating DRL is money the university can’t use to build the next New College House.

OP-ED: I Am Declaring a National Emergency Until I Get a Summer Internship

I worked so hard in high school to prepare myself for the workforce, and now I can't even get a damn interview anywhere.

Meet the CIS 160 Student Who Hasn’t Slept Since Syllabus Week

There has not been a single night since syllabus week when I haven’t had to stay up to finish a problem set.

Mental Health Fail! I Literally Can't Stop Crying

A new study from the University of Pennsylvania conclusively proves that I literally cannot stop tears from flowing down my cheeks.

21 Savage Gets Snap Bid from Owls

"All of us at Owls are rooting for 21, and we hope this whole ICE rubbish gets sorted out soon."