OP-ED: I Am Declaring a National Emergency Until I Get a Summer Internship

I've had it with recruiters continually ignoring the national security crisis that is my inability to get an internship this summer. 

Really, I'm not picky. I'll go anywhere and do anything. Need copies made? I'm your guy. Coffee? Heavy lifting? Foot massages? No problem. I'll do it with a smile on my face.

I'm involved in lots of clubs, I'm a hard worker, and my GPA is pretty good. It's not the best, sure, but what I lack in grades I make up for in sheer desperation. 

Honestly, this is such bullshit. I've applied to so many places and only heard back from, like, a quarter of them. I worked so hard in high school to prepare myself for the workforce, and now I can't even get a damn interview anywhere.

Ok, maybe I didn't need to declare a national emergency for this. I'll probably find something to do this summer if I keep looking and keep lowering my unrealistically high standards. I just want to find an internship faster, that's all.