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Braden, Is That a Pocket Constitution or Are You Just Happy to See Me?


Photo by Brian McGuirk / CC BY-SA 2.0

Braden is a PPE major, and he’s not afraid to show it. It is a known fact that Braden has at least one pocket constitution on his person at any given time. So which is it? No more guessing games, B r a d e n. Is that your pocket constitution or are you excited to see me?

Surprise, it’s both. 

“Okay, but I’m not excited to see you specifically,” said Braden in a UTB interview. I just cherish the thought of another human living in the land of the free and the home of the brave.” Yeah, okay. You have a boner for freedom. That doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s 11 a.m. Tuesday morning, and we’re not even halfway through calc.

“Technically, the first amendment supports me in that...” no, Braden. Do not bring the first amendment into your pants. Just chill out.