On any other Monday morning, she would have reached menopause before getting to the Harrison lobby.
Upon further inquiry into Staleman’s life at home, Staleman replied “I would drink piss for my boys. I have drunk piss for my boys! And I don’t even mean natty lite bro. Piss into my mouth, bro! Do it, bro!”
President Trump, following a wave of vaping related deaths, has issued restrictions that would ban the sale of “flavored e-cigarettes” until their approval by the FDA. "Human children everywhere are saying 'he really cares about the children!'" reported one White House official.
I’ll send you guys my pitches and you go ahead and publish them. I’ll get to work on the parodies.
If you’ve ever been in one of the high rises, you know there’s no service on the elevators. In addition to there being no service on this particular elevator, there are also no other people. Sources say it’s just me and this bitch.
The house is set to be finished two weeks ago, as it is simply a storage container in the Class of 25 alleyway, possibly leftover from move-in.
I don’t know if he understands that engineers don’t get syllabus days, but God I wish I was on the server with him instead of doing the 243 math problems 8 CIS assignments and 2 CAD’s my professors assigned in the first two days of class.
During NSO, University affiliates will ask you to “keep that mf thaaang on you.” I, however, will only ask you to either keep that mf thang clean, or keep it away from me.
Once again, characters whose identities are obviously and critically furry are being portrayed by non-furry actors. Jason Derulo? Non-furry. Taylor Swift? Non-furry. Idris Elba? Debatable.
"So basically," explained Braden, "I'm baby."
They found rock-hard evidence.
In their defense, Fox News hopped right into discussion after the debate had finished. "This is Tucker Carlson reporting from a green screen of the Democratic debates in China. This just in. Democrats: do they exist? And if so, I think I might hate them. Back to you, Jim."
For the first time in 93 years and also for the first time ever, Penn Medicine will be relocating their 12.5-ton Sphincter statue from the basement of HUP to the main lobby!
She knows who you are. She knows what you did. She’s your high school math teacher, and to her, you will always be an incompetent piece of shit.
I am a firm believer that millennials can change the world we already have. And by that I of course mean that they can, by 2030, physically consume all of the plastic ever created.
Be honest with yourself, you're going to get so invested that you do all the research by yourself anyways, so why not get credit for it?
If you just embraced your beautiful, unpronounceable last name by allowing everyone in the United States to mock it, I think your edge would be that much sharper.
“Oh! Wow! Penn Relays is going on right now?” said Braden in an interview, clad in his old high school track uniform and Penn Relays hat. “I literally had no idea. But while we’re on the subject…”
There are so many opportunities that she should totally have something by now.
I might pop in three times a day to grab a banana from Commons. Lord knows nothing else there is edible.