Wellness Win! Stress Is Not The Enemy, as Long as You Don’t Stress About It!

stress

Photo by Pixabay / CC0

To the University of Pennsylvania leadership, mental health is of the utmost importance. In last week’s University Council meeting, Associate Vice Provost and Chief Wellness Officer Benoit Dubé stated, “Stress is not the enemy but rather should be thought of as an opportunity for growth." 

Unfortunately, Dubé’s statement did not land well with the community. “So, basically…” said everyone in unison, “stress is the goal?”

“Oh, okay! I get what he's saying,” said Wharton freshman Katelyn Strong. “In order to grow, I have to hate myself! That's great, because I already do that on a regular basis. Every day when I wake up, I remind myself that I wasted my high school career trying to get into the Ivy League, and, now that I'm here, I have no idea what I want to do with my life! It really gets me going! Is this what happiness feels like?”

“I have decided to welcome stress into my life,” said senior engineer Stephan Jones. “After hearing that inspirational quote, I now save all of the homework for my seven classes for the night it's due! And when I can't finish it all in 45 minutes, I tell myself it's because I'm naturally bad at math, and I will never be as good as the other engineers! Thanks, Benoit Dubé!”

CAPS Psychologist and PhD Lucy Evans spoke with UTB on what was said in the meeting. “My entire career here has been spent trying to make students less stressed! It's no wonder my counsel isn't effective! Now, when students walk in the door, I just bang pots and pans and yell ‘What is your purpose!?’ Am I growing as a person yet?”

In response to the chaos that ensued, Dubé interviewed with UTB. “I was just trying to help motivate these kids! How was I supposed to know that they have way too much stress in their lives?"

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