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Student with 6 Hour Layover Ready to Kill His Poly Sci Midterm After CNN Binge


Photo by Michal Osmenda / CC BY 2.0

What is the worst part of spring break? Clearly it's the long layover in some dopey-ass North Carolina airport, because you were too cheap to get the direct flight to Puerto Rico. However, one political science student took full advantage of this extra time to get a leg up on studying for his upcoming midterm.

Meet College junior Christofferson Chiren. “While you were busy throwing down in Miami, I spent my time on some disgusting airport carpet next to an outlet watching CNN for six hours,” said Chiren. “But now my knowledge of Syria surpasses that of our top generals.”

UTB did the math and plugged the amount of subtitles that Chiren read into our proprietary algorithm. We determined it was exactly equivalent to the 350 pages of reading that he was supposed to do instead. 

Chiren’s fellow classmates wait with bated breath to see if this revolutionary studying technique will pay off.