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Determined! Poly Sci Student Realizes His Analogy Is Trash, but Still Trucks on to Its Unsatisfying Conclusion


Photo by VIA Agency / CC BY 2.0

Matt Comonson (C ‘21) was sitting in the front row of his PSCI 183 recitation last Thursday when a light bulb went off in his head during a discussion about the U.S.’s decision to enter World War II.

His fellow classmate Katie Derstrum was about halfway through a comment when Comonson’s hand shot up like a dart. By the time he was called on, he realized he completely ignored everything Katie was saying as he was anxiously awaiting his chance to share with the class the great analogy that was brewing inside his head.

“So like just totally going off what you were saying um…,” Comonson said pointing to Katie realizing he had no idea what the girl’s name was. “The U.S. didn’t want to have to enter the war, but, like, they also knew it was the right thing to do. It’s kind of like…”

The class all let out a sigh knowing Comonson was about to unleash one of his patented shitty analogies.

“...when you’re a kid and your parents tell you that you have to take a pill cause you’re sick, but like you don’t want to swallow it cause it’s big and scary …”

At this point Comonson realized he had raised his hand for three whole minutes just to say that entering WWII was a tough pill to swallow. Regardless, Comonson, like the Axis Powers, had far too much pride to admit defeat just yet.

“...but once you, like, swallow it you feel so much better, and you realize it was the right decision, you know what I mean?” Comonson said using copious and unnecessary arm movements.

While Comonson certainly laid an egg that day, he knew he could redeem himself later that night by using his three mandatory discussion post responses to ignite a flame war about the creation of Israel that would certainly show the class that he is more than a suit-wearing, analogy-loving try-hard.