Report: Some Students Actually Quite Happy

Citing that certain students regularly experience “feelings of glee” and derive a “hopeful bliss” from their day-to-day lives, a groundbreaking study from the University of Pennsylvania psychology department has determined that some students are quite happy. 

Despite the spine-breaking, sexless, and financially crippling nature of their existence, some students claimed to be, “Just fine,” “Grateful to be here,” and, even, “The best they’ve ever been.” 

While researchers were initially skeptical about the results, their finding that a sizable percentage of students are not only hacking it, but thriving, stood up to multiple rounds of meticulous statistical analysis.