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Hughes Ransom


Articles

Pledge Given Sock by Senior Brother, Is Finally Free

Universally known to be a “gigantic fuck-up,” giving a pledge a sock calls for his immediate induction into the brotherhood per the bylaws of the Interfraternity Council.


"I Shit Scum like You," Says Penn Cop to Visiting High Schooler

During his visit to campus, Tucker O'Connell stole a mango Naked juice from Gourmet Grocer.


OP-ED: My Parents Pay My Rent, and I Expect Them To Continue Doing So

My parents pay my rent, and I see no indication that they will stop any time soon. They’re relieving a large financial burden on me, which allows me to fund my extremely expensive Ketamine habit. 


Report: Some Students Actually Quite Happy

Despite the spine-breaking, sexless, and financially crippling nature of their existence, some students claimed to be, “Just fine,” “Grateful to be here,” and, even, “The best they’ve ever been.” 


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