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Pennovation Win! This Allergenic Frat Boy Started Cutting His Blow with Zyrtec™


Photo by Lea Eisenstein / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Greg Cardenas (C '20) may have just reached peak Pennovation.

As cherry blossoms and dandelions bloomed across campus, Cardenas began suffering his annual bout of severe seasonal allergies. Never one to settle for the status quo, the junior used his frat's drug-fueled backlot party to his advantage last weekend. While forming lines of cocaine on a picnic table, genius struck.

"That's when it hit me: I should just cut Zyrtec into my blow and rail it all at once," he said. "Boom. I'm high as hell, and I'm protected against symptoms of hay fever for a full 24 hours."

His frat brothers were amazed to see Cardenas' brilliant mind at work. "He was already insanely drunk by that point, so coming up with that plan was really a shock to us all," explained Josh Gratz (E '19), who was there when the Pennovation occurred. "I keep telling him, he should apply for the President's Engagement Prize, because, in our frat alone, he has totally revolutionized the way we take over-the-counter drugs."

But did it actually work? Cardenas and several other allergenic party attendees report that they felt their symptoms disappear within just seven to ten minutes of snorting the drug combination, and, according to Cardenas, "the drip wasn't even too bad either."