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No Bueno: Beto O’Rourke and Cory Booker Fail Spanish 110


Photos by Gage Skidmore and Bbsrock /  CC BY-SA 2.0

Presidential candidates Beto O’Rourke, Cory Booker, and 8 other democratic hopefuls took to the stage in Miami last night to convince the American people that they’re the best choice to challenge President Donald Trump. Both O’Rourke and Booker spoke Spanish during the debate, in a move some have derided as pandering.

Upon returning to their hotel rooms after the debate, the two candidates found a CITsender email in their inboxes, informing them that their grades for Spanish 110 had been posted. Both opened the emails to find that they had received an F in the class.

UTB sat down with both men in exclusive post-debate interviews to ask them their thoughts on the situation.

“Oh, man. I really should have studied more for that class,” O’Rourke said to UTB. “First I get 48% running for Senate in 2018, then I get 45% on my Spanish 110 final in 2019. I can’t beat Ted Cruz or elementary Spanish, I guess. No bueno!“

I feel pretty awful right now, to be perfectly honest,” Booker sighed wistfully. “I was commencement speaker two years ago, so there was always a lot of pressure on me to do well in class. I got so caught up running for President that I forgot to brush up on my verb conjugations. Rookie mistake.”

“I bet Castro got an A,” he grumbled.

Sources report that former Vice President and fellow 2020 candidate Joe Biden looked extremely nervous last night upon receiving news that he too had failed the class. “Tengo mucho study!” he said before locking himself in the basement of Van Pelt library with his Spanish textbook to cram for tomorrow’s debate.