Rick is Back, Baby! Penn Book Center to Be Replaced by Frontera

Welcome back, Rick!

In a stunning turn of events, Director of External Relations Nina Rigsby revealed last Saturday that PBC would be getting replaced by none other than Tortas Frontera by Rick Bayless.

“This decision was really a no-brainer,” Rigsby explained, chip fragments and guac encrusting her lips. “Ask yourself: what do people need to survive? Food, of course! Just try munching on a Murakami for lunch, I dare you.”

This news comes right on the heels of the announcement that Frontera in the ARCH building would be closing down.

“Kicking Rick out last semester really left a bad taste in our mouths — we knew we had to make it up to the poor guy,” Rigsby said with conviction.

Many students have shared their opinions on the University’s bold move.

“They’ve taken a sacred place in the community and defiled it beyond salvation,” College sophomore Randy Helms cried. “I’ll never forgive Rick for this one!”

“I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m personally stoked for the change,” Engineering freshman Jefferson Cantara commented. “I haven’t picked up a book since, what? Third grade or something?”

“I’m excited to start this new chapter in Mexican cuisine with everyone at Penn,” chef Rick Bayless said in his first public appearance since being arrested for running around his own restaurant naked and slathered in guacamole. “I’ll meet you all at the starting line!”