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After 3 Years of Presidential Practice, Joe Biden Is Ready for the Real Thing


Photo by Marc Nozell / CC by 2.0

Joe Biden is finally entering the race after completing three years of training as the Benjamin Franklin Presidential Practice Professor. Figuring eight years of vice presidential experience was not enough to prepare him for the big promotion, Biden created this role for himself to prepare for 2020.

As part of his presidential practice, Biden has been practicing pacing back and forth hallways, pardoning turkeys, and kissing babies (recently he put a stop to this practice).

Biden told UTB that his presidential practice has been “all hunky-dory” and that he’s “ready to show every Bill, Bob, and Billy-Bob in the rust belt what ol’ Uncle Joe’s got for them this time.”

The former Vice-President is sure that his three year excursion of being a professor that teaches no classes has kept him fresh and ready to excel in the upcoming election. “I can just sniff it,” Biden said. “I’m within a hair of the presidency. I can sniff its hair. Okay, I didn’t mean it like that. That’s a touchy subject.”

Apparently, presidential practice can only take you so far. Luckily for Penn, two-time Presidential loser and perpetual “gaffe-machine” Gary Johnson has already agreed to take Biden’s role as the new Presidential Professor of Practice.