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Reminder: Police on Silly Segways Still Cops


Photo by Sean Biehle / CC BY-SA 2.0

School is back in full swing, and that means a return of the welcome sights at Penn: freshmen scootering to class, hate protesters on Locust Walk, and those god-damn clubs that never stop flyering. Life on campus also means one more fixture: Penn police on their silly little Segways. But, reader beware, no matter how frivolous those officers look, remember that, at the end of the day, a cop on a Segway is still a cop. 

While it might come as a surprise that Penn’s security force is one of the largest private police forces in the country, the narrative of their overarching hold on this slice of West Philadelphia is complicated when you see those very officers riding around on those tall, bumbling, two-wheeled scooters. But let’s be real — a cop on a Segway is still a cop.

At the end of the day, let’s call it like it is. For Penn, that means a spade is a spade, White Claw Wednesdays can only go so far, and those police on Segways are most definitely cops.