Sad: On Campus Rats Shocked to Learn OCR Isn’t About Them
Photo by Haerpeck Reckpeauck // CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
September 11, 2019 at 10:22 am
In the past few weeks, Penn’s rat community has been flourishing. They were singlehandedly responsible for a brief closure of the Fresh Grocer, caused many a scare in various sorority dwellings, and have a whole new group of fresh meat to harass throughout the quad. Despite a few battles lost to booby traps, the fall of 2019 has been an epoch of tremendous rat success.
However, tragic news recently plagued the greater West Philadelphia rat community. After years of thinking that the University's infamous On Campus Recruiting program — dubbed OCR – was a celebratory rat-pride week called "On Campus Rats," they recently learned the truth.
UTB staff sat down with a Rodin college house rodent after he reluctantly accepted our requests for an interview. Upon asking for his thoughts on the matter, he hastily replied, “What the fuck bro? You’re seriously telling me, that this whole time, OCR has actually stood for On Campus Recruiting, and it WASN’T a week dedicated to honoring and celebrating rats on campus? And you want to know how we feel about it? We are pretty pissed! This is the one thing we had and you guys are taking it away from us.”
“That means that all those cheese plates were for those fancy people in suits and not for us to munch on,” he said. “This is just too fucked up for me to wrap my head around right now.”