Franzia Unveils New Boyfriend-Sized Bag of Sunset Blush

With cuffing season in full swing, it can be easy for students without a special someone to feel left out and lonely. Luckily, your trusted friends at Franzia have your back with their brand new, patented Boyfriend-Sized Bag of Sunset Blush, hitting store shelves in Philadelphia this month.  

It has everything a single Penn student could want: the proportions of a 21-year-old male and 2,400 fluid ounces of crisp rose. It’s just like your old boyfriend except it’s full of bad wine instead of a bad personality. 

The Boyfriend-Sized Bag of Sunset Blush is perfect for any occasion as it can function as both a formal date and a cry for help all at the same time.  

And, yes, the nozzle is the penis.