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How to Find the Right Penn Face for Your Face Shape

Photo by Caroline Curran / The Daily Pennsylvanian

According to Gutmann’s Law, all Penn students must sport their best Penn Face every day. But there’s a catch — you can’t wear just any Penn Face. Depending on your natural features, some Penn Faces will be more flattering on you, and it’s critical that you choose the right one.  Do you see how good everyone else looks? That’s because they’re matching their Penn Face to their face shape, and you’re not. And that’s because they have more friends than you and are more accomplished than you are. Read on to find out if you are wearing the right Penn Face for your face shape.

  1. Square Face: If you have a strong jawline that is the widest part of your face, you probably have a square face. Don’t feel bad, though. The best Penn Face for you will soften your harsh angles and de-emphasize the way you actually look.
  2. Heart: A heart shaped face usually has a pointy chin. While that’s unfortunate — you will never be good enough — if you can minimize this appearance by choosing a Penn Face that balances out your forehead so you won’t look so much like a triangle.
  3. Round: If your face is basically just a circle, you can fix this error by wearing a Penn Face that creates subtle angles. While everyone else will still be better than you, this cosmetic fix might make you look a little less pathetic.
  4. Oval: Oval faces have prominent cheekbones but also a long face. You can fix this genetic blunder by creating the illusion of width. It’s just an illusion, though. And everyone will see through it.

Once you find the right Penn Face, you’ll never want to take it off.