Per medical guidelines, Scorpios will not be allowed on the premises.

Under the Button reached out to every single one of Greenfield’s high school friends, and was able to get in contact with all both.

“I personally think Odyssey is a catalyst for social change,” Parsons said. “There are conversations that people need to be having, like such as about how feminism is just not super important for me personally, and it’s fine if it is for you, but I need you to respect my point of view as a writer.”

“I’m usually a very active participant in class,” Michaelson said. “But then Professor Chowdry asked about something that wasn’t covered on the 150-word abstract or the Wikipedia page, and that’s really beyond my purview.”

I won’t be checking my texts — I’ve gone off the grid.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Well, it might be time to rethink the premise of that philosophical inquiry.

I mean, do you even remember 9/11? Do you even know what that is?

Jazz&Grooves noted that the search has been challenging due to a lack of clarity on what a gec looks like or even is.

When pressed, Moffit admitted that she can only achieve orgasm if there is a Leuchtturm1917 college-ruled notebook in her immediate vicinity.

As your hand glides ever so sensually along the Huntsman staircase railing, you can practically hear your name being announced, the applause, the oohs and ahs.

Frank discussion is the first step toward genuine understanding, and I know that we are collectively baffled by the choice of light fixture in the glass-enclosed lobby of the local pizza joint.

Aimee Brooks (W ’23), a freshman who hails from Chelsea, Manhattan and identifies as “old money,” is under the impression that this system is ultimately fair and unbiased.

There’s a couple of potential answers to her inquiries. You could definitely lie and say you usually take a power nap at 8:35 PM while studying for finals, and you just forgot to turn the alarm off.

Sydney Gelman sits on a mint green loveseat in her above-ground bunker apartment. Sipping on a Diet Coke, she looks around the apartment with disdain and calls it a “windowless asylum.” Gelman, a writer for Under the Button dot com, has the dubious distinction of being the youngest on staff. 

“Did you see the way the trees were, like, breathing? I really want that to happen to me, too. The scenery was just so pretty.”

She wondered if she had been misled when she visited Penn during spring break in her junior year of high school. “There were people playing frisbee on College Green,” she said. “Their serotonin levels seemed perfectly balanced.”

Is this just a classic case of the freeze-and-thaw cycle on our paved streets or is it Korolev, the famous ice-filled impact crater that's located within the Mare Boreum section of Mars and is a whopping 81.4 kilometers in diameter?

The winter season can be especially tough for dealing with body image — there’s the constant influx of holiday foods, an overload of social obligations, and the stress of family gatherings, just to name a few. But this year, take one thing off your (metaphorical) plate by ditching the scale.

I don’t know much about Penn’s athletics, but I do know that student-athletes are not only students but also they’re athletes. This duality means that they do physical exercise on a regular basis in addition to studying. Logically, then, one might assume that student-athletes are in good shape.

Handshake calls itself “the largest career community for students and recent grads.” Well, do you know where diseases spread? That’s right — communities. And do you know how they spread? Physical touch.