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Revere Me! I Am That Person to Whom This Carrel Is Registered


Photo by Mia Marion

Hey! You over there. In carrel 3206. 'Tis I, the person who has reserved this carrel

Can’t you even read the sign?

“The person to whom a carrel is registered has priority seating. If you are using a carrel that is not registered to you, you may be asked to choose another location when the carrel holder is present.”

If you could read, you would know this is reserved. And guess what, you mere mortal — it is reserved by me. So now you should move along and choose a different study location for plebeians like you who don't have reserved study spaces. 

Not only did I reserve this carrel, I know how to use the word “whom” to refer to myself as the sole temporary owner of the object of a verb or preposition, and in this case, the verb is “registered,” and the object is “carrel.” 

I know someone who would probably not understand that, and you bet your sweet, sweet ass I am talking about you, baby! 

Now that we’ve determined that you cannot read nor understand basic subject-verb agreement grammar conventions, get out of my reserved carrel. And give me your lunch money.