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How to Recover After You're Forced to Be the Slutty Pony for the Group Halloween Costume


Photo by PrincessPaparazzi / CC BY 2.0

Sophia Wulsh (C ‘22) used to love Halloween. But after this year’s festivities, she is decidedly less enchanted: her friends made her be a slutty pony for the holiday. With cute little horse ears on her head, her hair tucked back into a ponytail, and adorable little hoofs on her hands, Wulsh was the spitting image of a pony. An exposed midriff added a touch of spice to the look. “I don’t have anything against dressing slutty,” Wulsh explained, “but dressing like a pony? That’s where I would draw the line.” 

Early in the October season, Wulsh had agreed to go in on a group Halloween costume along with her five housemates, who live together in a residence lovingly known as “The Farm.” The housemates agreed that a barnyard theme was "clearly the move." Although Wulsh was initially enthused about the idea, she was later disappointed when given her costume assignment. “I just don’t understand why they insisted on it,” explained Wulsh, crossing her hoofs in front of her with a huff. “I wanted to be the sexy farmer.” 

Despite this, it is difficult to place blame on her housemates. A single interaction with Ms. Wulsh makes clear that her entire demeanor, her entire spirit, is that of a spry, jovial farm pony. Wulsh was destined to for the role of sexy equine excellence from the day of her birth. 

Following Halloween, Wulsh plans to do everything in her power to shed her brand as the most equine-like member of the household. “I’m going to stop wearing my hair in ponytails,” Wulsh declared, “and I promise to never, ever eat oats again.”