Amy Gutmann’s Husband Furious That She Keeps Gentrifying the Backyard

A backyard once occupied by Philadelphia's lowest-income rabbits, mice, and birds have become virtually uninhabitable. With housing prices on the rise, local animal inhabitants being displaced and homelessness skyrocketing, the vicious cycle of gentrification continues. This time, it’s happening in Amy G’s very own backyard … literally.

Amy Gutmann has been repeatedly spotted by neighbors approving construction projects for new academic buildings, college houses, and libraries in her very own backyard. Much to the chagrin of her husband, she appears to be scheming new gentrification initiatives left-and-right, most recently approving the development of a 4th high-rise in the small alcove where the local West Philadelphia rabbits reside.

“This is fucking ridiculous," noted her husband. “Our rent is just going to keep increasing to the point where we might have to vacate our own house! There’s nothing I can do about it at this point—she’s out of control!”

Neighbors report that sometimes Amy can be spotted gentrifying in her sleep. “I once saw her approve the construction of a 15-story entrepreneurship building at 4 A.M. - the woman sleep-gentrifies!” 

For the sake of her husband, the neighborhood, and the community at large, we can only hope that Amy stops this pattern of reckless gentrification.