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OP-ED: You'll Be Sorry


So I assume you’ve heard the news. I’m leaving. For good this time. No, I’m not pulling anything; this isn’t a stunt for attention like admittedly, I’ve done in the past. I’m closing my doors for the last time. We're done. 

Oh, are you sad? Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna fucking cry like a wittle baby? Oh, that’s just classic. "But I love you, FroGro," you'll say through tears. Really? Then where were you when I needed you? No, I’m not sorry. Not at all. There were so many opportunities to show me you cared. There were plenty of rainy days you could’ve run to my doors, telling me you’d do anything to get me to stay, that you can’t imagine a University City without me in it. But you didn’t. You took me for granted, and now it’s too late. 

I guess I just thought you were different than my other customers. I was just goddamn naive. We’ve been through so much together. So many firsts. Your first time buying shitty wine with your fake ID, your first time getting food poisoning. All those times I got lost in your eyes and you got lost in my aisles. I thought it meant something to you. 

Yet you dismissed me, treated me like I was nothing, all because there was that one time where you bought a carton of eggs and half of them were cracked and you got salmonella from the ones that weren't cracked and had to go to SHS and puked for like a week and tore your esophagus lining. I never claimed to be perfect but that’s always what you expected, isn't it? 

So I hope you’re happy. I know Trader Joe’s is more organic, the Gourmet Grocer is more convenient. But one day, you’re gonna wake up and remember you need chips and salsa for a birthday party and you’re gonna realize I was the best goddamn grocery store you ever had. 

Maybe this is for the best. You need time to work on yourself, to work on being the loyal customer you can be. I'm sorry things had to end this way. Just know...all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be well-fed.