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Megan Striff-Cave


Astronautical Engineering and Ten Other Things That Are Easier Than Meal Prepping for One

Childbirth. Now that we’re thinking about it, having twins is probably on par with meal prepping’s level of difficulty. But just one kid? Definitely easier. 

OP-ED: Stop Acting Like the Pandemic Is Over and Start Acting Like It Never Happened

We may never recall all we found to be normal prior to the beginning of the pandemic, but we should not get caught up in the importance of trying to regain that sense of normalcy; we need to do more. 

University Announces Student Vaccine Distribution Plan for Penn Community

The Daily Pennsylvanian reporters met with school administrators earlier this morning to collect information about the logistical outline of the coming weeks.  

DP Exposé Exposes No Names, No Organizations, No Events

Despite evidence of Greek life negligence abounding on campus and off, there simply "wasn’t enough evidence" to publish an article to hold the perpetrators accountable.  

Philly Heroes! Frats Holding Events Downtown To Support Local Restaurants

So frats made a commitment: they were going to host their date nights, rush events, and BYOs at bars and restaurants in the community -- all to stimulate the economy, of course. | Megan Striff-Cave & Grace Ginsburg 

“FAFSA? Omg, I Love Soccer Tournaments” Says Friend With Multiple Homes

"Yikes! It appears that Nina Gomez (W ‘23), a native of the Upper East Side who uses “summer” as a verb, has unfortunately confused the FAFSA with FIFA." | Megan Striff-Cave

COVID-19 Is “Soooo Excited To Meet So Many New Freshmen in the Quad!”

"I don’t want to brag or anything, but literally none of them are immune to my charm — or my disease!"

In Solidarity With Jewish Friends, Atheist Also Does No Homework On Saturdays

It should be noted that Morgan is a chronic procrastinator with an essay due on Monday.  

Professor Hides Assignment Under Modules, Discussions, and Inside Thanksgiving Turkey

“Look, you might have to do some searching to figure out where your assignments are. Not everything is handed to you on a plate--well, except for this quiz, I suppose.” 

OP-ED: If You Need Me, I'll Be In Clark Park On Tranquilizers Playing Chess

Despite never having played chess--let alone played chess while high on tranquilizers--I have this gut feeling I would instantly decimate any player using the Sicilian Defense.

Mindy's Pod Is The Exact Amount Of People Who Were At The Late Night She Went To!

“And our pod--the hundred of us, or so--we really only see each other,” says Mindy. “And of course our significant others, people from our sororities or fraternities, and these guys I know from Temple. Honestly, we couldn’t be safer.” 

UTB Investigates Emily, Not Even In Paris

What's Emily without Paris? Or really, what's Paris without Emily? 

Irresponsible at Penn Stopped Because Everyone Is Responsible Now

The only plausible assumption is that all irresponsible behavior at Penn has ceased. Win!  

"Make Sure You Vote Today," Says Professor Holding Class on Election Day

Dr. Perez wanted it to be clear that he says voting as almost as important as his class specifically. “They’re both crucial for your future, if you think about it,” he said to students.

5 Trader Joes Products That Will Briefly Curb Feelings Of Impending Doom

Do you often feel stressed about the existential threat of climate change? Then you should indulge in some of this creamy, delicious pasta! 

Oops! Instagram Activist Never Registered To Vote

The UTB investigative team has come to the conclusion that reposting infographics on Instagram is Emily’s main way of fulfilling her civic duty, instead of doing boring things like voting or phone banking. 

Brooke O'Harra To Join Chris Wallace In Moderator Support Group

O'Harra received heavy criticism in the Zoom chat for asking Mulaney, a stand-up comedian and actor, about investment banking and consulting. She also reportedly only smiled 6 times throughout the entire call, causing students to call her "sus" in that chat. 

Fuck It: Third Pret In Huntsman

And in order to complete this project, we are reallocating some funding that was previously used for...Wild Cats? Oh sorry, Wilcaf," said Gutmann, squinting at the budget memo she was reading from. 

OP-ED: We Need To Talk About The Slack Industrial Complex

I’ll say it if no one else will: this could all happen in a GroupMe, or even over iMessage. It’s time we unlearn the lessons Slack has taught us. 

Chris Wallace Finally Understands How All Women Feel Trying To Speak in Group Discussions

”Every time I tried to get a word out, another white guy was interrupting me. I felt like a woman trying to talk in a humanities class!“