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Guys, Becky’s Lost Her Only Canada Goose Fracket for the Fifth Time, and It’s Sooo Cold


Photo by Kevin Xu / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Heyyy, so sorry to bother everyone. Omg I’m so embarrassed I have to do this for like the fifth time but if anyone was at Delta Lota Kappa on Friday and picked up a black Canada Goose, I think it might be mine. It’s puffy, black, and really warm. It’s got my phone, wallet, and sense of self-worth attached to it so it’s, like, really important that I get it back.

This weather has been sooo crazy and that’s my only winter coat now. It’s, like, freezing outside all the time and I won’t be able to go out this weekend if I don’t get this coat back. It’d be so embarrassing to show up in something else, like what would everyone think? Not that I care but still. Dad says it’s happened “too many times” and I “need to take responsibility this time,” so here I am. 

I swear this is the last time it’ll ever happen. 

Please please reach out and contact me. I’ll even buy you coffee to make up for the $1000 you’ll be missing out on if you return it. I promise I won’t be mad. I’m 100 percent sure you didn’t mean to take it. We all make mistakes, people.

EDIT: Okay, it's been a few hours now and no one has said anything. I always knew I went to a school full of incompetent idiots. Fuck you guys.

EDIT 2: Oh haha, oops. Found it. Must’ve missed it under my pile of vomit-stained clothes. Thanks guys :)