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OP-ED: Yeah I Might Have Narcolepsy, or Maybe I’m Just Vibing


Photo from Pxfuel / CC0

You may have seen me asleep in odd positions around campus — my spine crushed into shards from contorting my body to fit on tiny chairs, my face pushed into the comfort of a cold, wooden table, or me just laying in the middle of the pavement. Am I narcoleptic, or just extremely zen? 

I can’t remember a time when I haven’t been exhausted. I’ve been asleep or craving it since the seventh grade. I think I’m narcoleptic, because I fall asleep just about anytime I have my eyes closed. I don’t want to do a sleep study and get a diagnosis, however, because they might take my license away and then I won’t be as much of a threat to the public. Some may say I most likely have narcolepsy and should seek treatment. I say yeah, maybe. Or maybe I’m just vibing.

Maybe I’m just so relaxed that I lose consciousness in unfortunate places. Maybe you should consider becoming more laid back. Yes, I’ve slept through every morning class I’ve had so far this semester, and yes, I’m going to sleep through more, but I refuse to lose sleep over it. I just go with the flow. The flow of sweet, delicious unconsciousness as my chemically imbalanced brain puts me to sleep to maintain my cool, calm exterior. This is my lifestyle, and while you may know my name, you don’t know my story.