Excerpts From My Quarantine Dream Journal With Zero Context

During these uncertain™® times™®, many have taken to journaling as a way of marking the passage of the calendar. But me? No. Why write down real, accurate, historical things that have actually happened when you can record the funny things your brain makes up at night? Below are excerpts from those documentations — phrases that I have genuinely written down after emerging from slumber, presented to you now with absolutely no context: 

• Old man gets younger, still no boundaries also no beard 
• High fly garage instead mini van. Anything illegal. You wearing socks?
• Titus Haunte and Faye Androdicus make their fair debut
• Electric shocks from heart, somehow in body
• Uber to dowel shop and disappointment 
• Donkey tell Shrek can’t love him anymore on water slide
• Farm to table not for me — need at least a few other steps in there
• Turn stools around at dumb floating table
• Water in between not cleaned enough — things were supposed to change like people if you’re old do what you want?
• Cave closes thunderstorm throw shoes downhill