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UTB Interviews Health Professionals (Dermatologists, Dentist, Orthodontist) About Safety of Fall Plan


Photo by maheen49 / CC PDM 1.0

Many of us rely on the DP's top-class journalism to keep us informed, especially about Penn-related content. In recent weeks, the DP has gone above and beyond when covering Penn's fall plan. In one of their many articles, the DP sought the counsel of six health professionals. 

UTB was not convinced by the DP's "professionals," so we decided to conduct our own research. We also interviewed six health professionals (four dermatologists, a dentist, and an orthodontist) to determine the safety of re-opening come fall. We asked one simple question: "Is it safe for Penn students to come back for a hybrid experience?" Here's what they said:

Positive Reaction

"I'm going to be honest with you. I make the majority of my yearly salary listening to students who live in the quad freak out thinking they have skin cancer or something, when it's really just Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease. Let me put it this way, from a dermatological perspective, the Penn campus wasn't that safe health-wise before the pandemic. There's nothing to lose!" - Dr. Rose Clearskin, Dermatologist at Wartz B Gone Practice

"I'm going to have to agree with Rose. I rely on students (especially the students who didn't sign up for the optional Aetna dental health insurance plan) with cavities from late-night Insomnia Cookies, dining hall food, and other sweets they eat when they are stressing at Penn. If they are at home, I'm worried there won't be as much peer pressure, leading to fewer sweets and fewer clients." - Ruth Canal, Dentist at Little Shop of Horrors

Mixed Reaction:

"I don't need the money from the yearly Hand, Foot, and Mouth freak out because I've been treating a ton of burns due to the increase in cooking and baking during the pandemic. While I could always use the extra cash, I'm doing alright financially. I mean, it depends on if how badly the University wants student tuit— I mean, on the safety measures the University can put into place." - Harold Burnz, Dermatologist at The Best Care You Skin Get

"I'm not going to beat around the bush here, all this hand sanitizer is KILLING people's skin. Don't even get me started. One woman came in and her hands were dryer than the Sahara during a drought. Well, you get the point. I'm here to crack down on cracked hands. I understand that student life is important and that these kids need to be independent at this time in their lives, but think of their poor, dry hands!" - Barry Dryhand, Dermatologist at Moisturizer Manor

Negative Reaction:

"I don't know why you're asking me about this, it's not like I'm a disease doctor. I make cages for teeth for a living. Most of my clients are middle schoolers, so I don't have a personal bias. However, it seems like having a pandemic is a big deal, so I think it's a risky move to open the school." - James Bracket, Orthodontist at Shut Ur Mouth