Cool! Second Year Orientation Just Safe Sex Puppet Show
Held from 8:30-10:00 pm on the first Friday Night of NSO, this mandatory event is going to be a crowd favorite.
Alicia Lopez
Wow! Virtual Internship Just as Helpful as Virtual School
The study looked at statistics such as the percentage of participants whose camera is on, daily time spent on work/school, skills acquired, and overall participant enjoyment to inform the educated and mathematical assessment.
Cool! Second Year Orientation Just Safe Sex Puppet Show
Held from 8:30-10:00 pm on the first Friday Night of NSO, this mandatory event is going to be a crowd favorite.
Alarming! Mom and Dad Really Belt Billy Joel During Family Road Trip
A few songs in, the whole car was really jamming. Then... it happened. Track 5 was Uptown Girl, Dad's favorite song on the CD. Boy, did he let it rip.
Wow! Virtual Internship Just as Helpful as Virtual School
The study looked at statistics such as the percentage of participants whose camera is on, daily time spent on work/school, skills acquired, and overall participant enjoyment to inform the educated and mathematical assessment.
QUIZ: How Bad Is Your Summer Slide?
Alicia Lopez
Friday, Aug. 6, 2021Fri, Aug 6, 2021
Take this quiz to see how much of school you've retained this summer.
Student Skips Summer Bod, Goes Straight to Winter Bod
"It's not like I was planning on going to the beach or anything because of COVID, but I'm also not one to sit around. I get restless and always need to be actively doing something, so I figured I get a head start on sculpting my post-Thanksgiving figure."
Open Letter to My Sister Who Played the Piano When I Was Napping
"I AM SLEEPING! COULD YOU PLEASE NOT PLAY THE PIANO WHEN I AM SLEEPING?!"
Junior Who Had 8 Months on Campus Excited to Claim Superiority Over Baby Underclassmen
Since the seniors are checked out, and nobody else has really been to campus, it seems like juniors are going to rule the school.
Uh-Oh! Flooding in Germany Suddenly Gutmann’s Problem
Despite the flooding tragedy, Gutmann is ready to hit the ground running—or swimming—and solve some problems.
"No, SWIRL Cone Please." "For the Last Time Ma’am, We Are Out of Chocolate Ice Cream"
"Hello, welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?" Those sacred words made my heart leap. I had been waiting for them all day.
Wharton Student Qualifies for Olympic Track and Field After Impressive Netflix Marathon
Wharton student, Anthony Quill '22, has recently qualified for Olympic track and field after an impressive Netflix marathon time of 4 days, 6 hours, 23 minutes, and 44 seconds.
Hey Everyone, Is It Too Late to Get a Summer Internship?
So far, I haven't seen any job openings I liked since I started my search 15 minutes ago, but I'm sure something will turn up...
Little Timmy Claims “Freedom of the Pursuit of Happiness,” Avoids Cleaning Room
"I'm not a hero. I'm just a kid looking to defend my freedoms. My mom said I had to clean my room, but Thomas Jefferson said I didn't have to."
Lonely Teen Finds Cool New Summer Friend: Mom
For one teen, Michael Green (C '24), loneliness has become a thing of the past ever since he made a cool new friend: Mom.
About Time! Penn Freshman Finally Graduates High School
Never go back to high school. Once you escape that place, run.
Translation Guide: Understanding the Father Tongue
Your key to a genuine conversation this Father's Day!
Change Up! Dad Who Usually Complains About Never Seeing Kids Now Wants Kids Permanently Out of House
"I don't know what happened, but those kids are little monsters," said Mr. Jackson in an interview, "now I understand what that phrase 'too much of a good thing' means."
Celebrate Dad by Recreating That BBQ Shown During the Side Effects of Every Medication Ad
There's still time to string together the one thing that Dad has been hoping for: that idealized fantasy picnic shown during the side effects of every medication ad.
Op-Ed: 20 Years Old Is Not Too Old for Father’s Day Breakfast in Bed
I know you wanted to go all out for Father's Day, but sometimes you're lazy, broke, or both. What to do? Time to whip out an old reliable: Breakfast in Bed.
Student Interning from Home Regrets Passionate Goth My Little Pony Phase
Golding was pleased with her magnum opus for about 10 months before her pride turned to indifference, dislike, disgust, then finally repulsion.
“You Don’t Understand Me!” and Other Zingers for a Constructive Disagreement With Your Parents
"I hate you!" is the perfect phrase to yell at your parents as you beg them to love you and give you everything you ask for.
