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Alicia Lopez


Articles

Victory! New Statue Celebrating Black Womanhood Proof That Penn Is Anti-Racist, Progressive

"We care so deeply for all our students, even, I mean, especially our students of color, so it was important for us to virtue signal our support for POC to the entire Philadelphia community" informed Gutmann in an exclusive UTB interview. 


Sister "Soooo Sorry" for Eating Sandwich That You Specifically and Clearly Labelled

I know life is crazy with the election and everything but an actual real-life national tragedy has occurred and nobody is paying attention to it.


Upping the Policy, Penn Will Allow 75 Students on Campus This Spring!

Just how many students would be allowed back to campus was not specified in the latest email. In an exclusive interview with Penn president, Amy Gutmann, UTB got the inside scoop of these numbers. 


If Penn Says I Can't Come, I'm Showing up With a Signed Note From My Mom

My mom is NOT the type of woman to sign notes for me willy nilly! That's why I was shocked when my mom told me that I would be going to school this spring regardless of University protocol.


Top Reasons Your "Apolitical" Friend Is Actually Just a Trump Supporter

Maybe you tried to talk about the debate and they, fidgeting and uncomfortable, responded, "What debate?" You can't help but think: is it REALLY possible that someone can be so apolitical?


QUIZ: Are YOU the Silent Majority?

Election season is in full swing and we keep hearing that term "silent majority," but who is the silent majority really? Take this quiz to see if you are a part of this special group!


"Take Me Back bb" Student on Leave of Absence Begs to Return in Spring Semester

Back in August, taking a gap semester seemed like a good idea to would-be College Sophomore Sophie Smith, but now that all her friends are back in school and she's living under her parents' roof, she has decided that the spring semester can't come soon enough.


"It's Almost Fall ;)" Announces Girl With Extensive Spongebob Sweater Collection

While some look forward to Halloween, some are eagerly awaiting posting selfies with pumpkin spice lattes, and others are preparing for sweater weather. Adriana Cortez is part of that last group.


Has Democracy Died? Student Government Voter Turnout Decreases From 5 Students to 2

Despite recent events, I had held out held hope that perhaps democracy still existed somewhere in the dark and distant corners of the world. That hope died as soon as I heard the news of the latest political tragedy: the decrease in voter turnout for Penn student government elections.


BREAKING: Trump Totally Fine, but Also Like Really Sick

In reality, the whole visit to Walter Reed was not serious at all. It was basically just a check-up with a sleepover component.


Regressing to My High School Self: How 6 Months at Home Reintroduced Me to Fanfiction

I write some of my own poetry and short stories and, of course, I'm reading high literary art including the likes of Joyce, Faulkner, and Marlowe, but sometimes after a long day of scholarly pursuits, I find myself indulging in my high school guilty pleasure: fan-fiction. 


Confused Man Mourns Loss of BLT on Supreme Court Steps

Upon hearing of the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, affectionately called "RBG," hundreds flocked to the supreme court steps to honor her memory. But one man, Barry B. Fuddled went to the supreme court steps to honor another fallen hero, or so he thought. 


Big Win! Mom Said I Get to Pick Out a Special Treat at the Grocery Store

I waited patiently as we put eggs, milk, and butter in our cart. I watched cautiously as my mom put fruits and veggies into our cart. By the time Mom put the bread in the cart I was getting antsy. I couldn't stop thinking about my special treat.


Welcome to My Island! A Photo Tour of the 1 Mile Radius Around My House.

Based on my high-tech Fitbit, I can guarantee that I've spent 99.5% of my time within a one-mile radius of my house. Having spent so much time here the past few months, I thought it was fitting to give you a tour of my special little island filled with highlights from my town.


Looking Back on 2020: Cats Was an Omen

I began wondering, why are people surprised by the events of 2020? Like Cats was basically the introduction. And no one said anything?


"Hot Tub Protocol, but Like Always" Frat Chad Explains Social Distancing

"People have been telling me 'wear a mask," and 'social distance' for months but I never really understood what that meant. I'm so used to being able to do whatever I want that I felt that those measures were oppressive and didn't apply to me."


Jeremy Shows Patriotism by Hosting Super-Spreader Labor Day Picnic

"I keep a countdown of days until Labor Day like most people keep countdowns until Christmas," Jeremy explained. "One pesky little virus isn't going to stop me from enjoying the holiday I love." 


Stop Complaining! Online School Means My Mom Packs My Lunch

My mom's lunch ensures that I will get at least two fruits and veggies, a sandwich (PB&J with the crusts cut off), a glass of milk, and two Oreos. With a wide variety of fruits and veggies including carrot sticks, celery sticks, apple slices, pear slices, peach slices, and strawberries, I'm consistently and dare I say eagerly left guessing what's for lunch.


Penn Dining Publishes 23 Step Process Required to Cancel Meal Plan

Each step is revealed one at a time, forcing students to complete them in order from 1 to 23. Only after all 23 steps have been completed will a student's meal plan be canceled.


OP-ED: Stop Reading the Hitler Statue Article

In my day, I’ve seen a thing or two. I know that when cottage cheese turns green you’re supposed to throw it out. In much the same way, I know that when an article is number one for too long, someone is manipulating page views on the UTB website.


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