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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will Brad Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling?


Photo by bl0ndeeo2 / CC BY-ND 2.0

You need more alcohol. You need more alcohol right now. Like, if beer, wine, vodka, or some other alcoholic substance is not passing your lips and into your bloodstream this instant, you will literally fucking die, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

You abandon Jessica on the dance floor and totter up to the bartender. “One, no! Two, three! Three triple shots of vodka with coke, please!,” you loudly proclaim to the brother working the bar. He looks at you mildly concerned, but has no problem with fueling your alcoholism. He loves watching people die and embarrass themselves. 

As you make your way back to Jessica on the dance floor, you stop cold in your tracks. There she is with Brad, tonguing him for all to see! Your alcohol-addled brain tries to decide what the best course of action is. 

A: Call Amy Gutmann

B: Ask to get in on the action