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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will Brad Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling?

amy-gutmann-sophie-by-eric-zeng
Photo by Eric Feng / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Doing your best to hide your slurred words, you reply, “Amy, please, my girlfriend is making out with another man right now and I need you to make it stop!”

“Mm mm mm,” says Amy over the line. “These hoes ain’t loyal nowadays. I’ll be right over.” Dr. Gutmann promptly hangs up. 

Five minutes later, from the porch comes the sound of clicking heels. The party turns dead quiet, and the DJ turns the music way down. The door is thrown open, and standing there is the imposing silhouette of the university president. “Where’s Jessica?” she asks softly, an edge of venom in her voice. 

The crowd parts and standing there are a sheepish Brad and Jessica. Amy Gutmann clicks over to them. “Now Jessica, Brad, I don’t want to embarrass the two of you, but I’m afraid that both of you are acting like little shits tonight. You’re making my friend over there very upset, and I’m going to have to ask both of you to leave.” Brad and Jessica glance at each other, and then, with President Gutmann escorting them, leave the premises. 

Later that night, Brad and Jessica fuck furtively at Brad’s place as you cry over lost love with a bottle of wine in the comfort of Amy’s living room.

Uh oh! Brad fucked your girlfriend at Fling! (But, like, he felt bad about it)

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