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Fuck It: Third Pret In Huntsman


Photo by Zhangyang / CC 3.0

Breaking news! Amy Gutmann and the Board of Trustees has decided that since Penn's campus buildings are empty, they will be beginning a series of construction projects. And what's their first project you ask? A third Pret in Huntsman Hall! 

"Right now, we currently have just two Pret a Mangers in Huntsman Hall. Frankly, it's a disgrace that there isn't one on each floor. Wharto-- I mean, ALL students deserve this. 

Pret a Manger, which has incredible flaky chocolate croissants and a total of 46.3 lines in every store, is a staple on Penn's campus. "I would love to have a Pret near Fagin Hall,"  Nursing student Zoe James (N '21) said before Gutmann reportedly threw one of the aforementioned chocolate croissants in her face for daring to ask something so ridiculous. 

"It needs to be in Huntsman. It's what He would've wanted," said a member of the Board of Trustees, referring to Jon M. Huntsman Sr. after which the infamous building is named. 

"And in order to complete this project, we are reallocating some funding that was previously used for...Wild Cats? Oh sorry, Wilcaf," said Gutmann, squinting at the budget memo she was reading from.