Presidential Election, Who? Damn, No One Told Me That Was Yesterday
Oh, Election Day was yesterday? That’s so awkward. I had literally had no idea. I can’t believe anyone expected me to remember when it was also a national holiday yesterday: Kendall Jenner’s birthday.
I really feel like society let me down. If I had just received:
- 12 more updates from Penn Leads the Vote
- 11 more flyers shoved in my mailbox
- 10 more texts from Power the Polls, “I am voter” and Biden-Harris H-Q
- 9 more calls from phone banks asking who I’m voting for
- 8 more reminders from my parents
- 7 more notifications about Uber discounts on Election Day
- 6 more suspiciously non-partisan political statements from my professor
- 5 more Instagram videos of celebrities virtue signalling
- 4 more “Go Vote! And are you still DTF?” texts from that guy that ghosted me last semester
- 3 more kisses on the mouth from Hillary Clinton
- 2 more Facetimes from Joe Biden himself
- And even 1 shred of common sense.
What a shame Trump might win Pennsylvania on a razor thin margin. If only people had gone out and done the work… reminding me to vote.
