Sister "Soooo Sorry" for Eating Sandwich That You Specifically and Clearly Labelled
Photo by Alicia Lopez / The Daily Pennsylvanian
November 22, 2020 at 11:43 pm
I know life is crazy with the election and everything but an actual real-life national tragedy has occurred, and nobody is paying attention to it. That's right. My sister ate the sandwich that I specifically put my name on. I made the sandwich myself yesterday. It had mayo, ham, cheese, and lettuce.
I had meticulously spread the mayo to the very edge, ensuring that the entirety of the bread was covered. I paid attention to the ham-to-cheese ratio, making sure that the two would balance each other out. I put two pieces of romaine in my perfect sandwich, ensuring that each bite would have a satisfying crunch. Then I put her into the refrigerator to chill so that I could eat it for lunch today.
As I put my sandwich into the fridge, I remembered to put a post-it note taped (you can't trust just the post-it for situations like this) to the plastic bag which clearly read, "Alicia's do not eat!!" on it. Imagine my surprise when I, hungry for lunch and eager to enjoy the fruits of my labor, found the fridge space I had left my sandwich in empty.
In mere minutes, I found my lovely note discarded in the trash can. The bag, void of sandwich, was haphazardly left on the counter. Concerned, I dared to ask if there had been witnesses. I walked into my sister's room and saw her licking the crumbs of my sandwich off her fingers. Case closed. Mystery solved. I was crestfallen.
I confronted my sister, of course, and in response, I got an "Oh, that sandwich? Yeah. I'm sooo sorry about that. Can't you just make another one real quick?" No. I could not just "make another one." MY sandwich had been refrigerated overnight.
Disappointed, I returned to the kitchen. I once again measured out the ratio of ham-to-cheese. I spread the mayo to the edges. I added the romaine. I attached a note to the outside of the bag. I have left my sandwich in the same spot in the fridge for lunch tomorrow. Please send me your thoughts and prayers. I'm going to need them tomorrow at noon.